The thought ‘change is scary’ came to me this morning as I laid in bed in the dark of the morning. My first reply to it though was, “Nah, really?” I would love to do an Instagram-influencer worthy post of positivity but I that’s not going to happen.
As we come to the end of this year and into the dark of the winter, I’m sure people are looking to put some sort of label on this year other than ‘DANGER!’. I think my label would be the Year of Change. But I don’t think there is a single person out in this world who didn’t experience some form of change that just well and truly sucked.
The question here then is this: how do we deal with this change?
I can think of several ways, such as a big middle finger in the air followed by nothing but the taillights, a muttered ‘same old shit’ as I go along with the changes even though they suck or have a shitty origin story, or just let out a deep breath and say ‘what the fuck’.
As I was driving around yesterday listening to 80’s New Wave and alternative, all I could think was that even though the music was great back then, it was also an escape from the shit-show that was always happening, too. The difference between then and now is that back then we weren’t bringing out the dead, Republican conservative assholes were still mostly harmless, and the real fear was some jackass in the White House or the Kremlin was going to push the big red button and blow us all to Hell.
So how did we deal with it back then? Is there something that can be learned?
I think we dealt with it back then by knowing it was going to happen. I always felt like we knew things were going to crater and bottom out sooner or later. We’d get through school but not really know what we wanted to do after that. We turned inward a lot, especially my generation because we were pretty self-sufficient to begin with.
That self-sufficiency makes you adaptable to a rolling shit-show in a lot of ways but it can grind you down from time to time, too. And I think that’s what I’m fighting against along with a lot of other people. I think a lot of people these days are fed up with bullshit that they’re beginning to realize they hadn’t been a hollow threat by people who said they knew what they were doing. They’re realizing that the assholes of this world didn’t know what the fuck they were doing even though they had the power to shit-can jobs and run off with the money. But what the assholes of this world didn’t realize was how resilient people are, even when they’re dead-dog fucking tired and hurting like Hell. It’s why I feel like there’s a shift in people that will hopefully stay that way after this pandemic is in decline.
It’s this resiliency that gives me strength. I tell myself I’ve been pulling rabbits out of my ass for a long time to keep my own shit afloat and I can do it again. There may be slow-money days on the road but I also know that can change, too. Heck, if you want an unpredictable job do what I do for a living (Uber driving). It wasn’t as unpredictable before this pandemic began but now it’s even more so. But it’s a job that can reward resiliency and tenacity.
Because despite my shitty mood today, I still feel a need to kick some ass. Or at least let the words flow here and do the things I need to do today. Will my day be perfect? Hell no. Perfect days are very few and far between as are moments of clarity where everything comes together in one perfect moment of sight and sound. Both thoughts are okay to have because as long as the music is out there, the road will open up.
There’s a line from a song I love that’s been going through my head for the last few days and I think it’s more than true than ever:
As the road opens up in front of my eyes
The only limitation is in my mind
“The Road” By The Alarm (songwriters Harry Macdonald and Jack Mc Allister)
So if you think change is scary that’s okay. If you want to shut out the asshole-voices in this world who will try to put you down for making changes in your life, or will cheer you as changes put you on your ass, block them out with those lines I just quoted above. It’s not bullshit to say the only limitations are in your mind. It’s the truth of life itself.