Shortly after I joined my local romance-writers group in the mid 1990’s, I was told very early on not to speak out publicly about any political or social issues. I was told not to do this in order not to alienate readers and publishers. And for close to twenty-five years, I went along with it like so many writers and other creative professionals did.
But now I this: It was never about alienating readers. It was about silencing dissent. It was the language of the Oppressor.
Being told not so speak out or ask questions is not about keeping people from disagreeing with you. It’s about keeping hard questions from being answered, about staying silent about hatred, violence, and injustice. It’s about keeping people from uncovering corruption and bringing the perpetrators to justice. It’s about staying silent and letting people suffer because other people believe suffering is meant to be and that people deserve to suffer.
After the 2016 Presidential Election, there was a severe reckoning in the romance writing community and other creative communities. The reckoning was painful because we had to examine our silence and how much it played into what we have now, the death-and-suffering cult that is trying to kill us all. We had to face the fact that our silence didn’t do anything to stop the tide of hatred and injustice that has swept over our world. We had to face the fact that our joy in our creativity couldn’t hide the pain and suffering in our world. And that our silence gave power to the Oppressors of this world because we had to realize and accept that silence is the language of the Oppressor.
That reckoning from 2016 onward was personal for me, too. It’s been a long and painful road to travel on, especially the time I’ve spent in the cold storage unit of my mind and memories. But it’s a road I’m glad I found the courage to travel on because I’ve found my voice. And I say this to those who wanted to silence me:
I do know what I’m talking about. And I do have a right to speak my mind, share my thoughts and feelings, and to speak out against pain and suffering.
Before Jesus Christ walked the Earth, pain and suffering were seen as the will of God. The world was made up of masters and slaves, rich and poor, and that sin could never be overcome. Then Christ came to Earth and talked of unconditional love even for the most broken of people. He talked of alleviating suffering above all else, healing the sick, comforting the sad, being with the incarcerated, and speaking out against greed and injustice. He was not silent, and I honestly don’t believe he wanted anyone else to be silent either, even his enemies as he offered them his other cheek.
And I know what I just wrote about Jesus Christ will set some hair on fire. But this is what I was told to keep silent about: the truth. Not just the truth of facts and events, but of my own personal thoughts and feelings. Because as I’ve said before, the worst thing I have ever dealt with is feeling like I had NO right to my own thoughts and feelings, and the ability to deal with them and express them.
As a creative person, I will say when you have a need to create and speak like I do, silence is extremely painful. I grew up with silence, silence about not speaking out against the bullying I was subjected to, about the pain and prejudice I witnessed and did nothing about. Most of all, I kept silent even in the most painful of times because I thought that’s what the world wanted of me. Now I see that silence for what it is: the tool of the Oppressor.
One thing I’ve learned over the last four years is that as I break my silence, my world hasn’t come crashing down around me like I used to think it would. I chose that silence and alienation thinking it would protect me from being hurt. It didn’t. What keeps me from being hurt by hateful and oppressive words is knowing that my silence won’t stop that and it never will.
I have made a commitment to myself now every single day: to find my voice and make it strong, and to not let fear and doubt ever silence it again.