Breaking Radio Silence

“Why do I think and feel the way I do?” It was a simple question I asked myself in the Fall of 2016 though I had no idea what the search for the answers would lead me to. My search took me to the deepest and darkest parts of my mind, my heart, and my soul. It took me to the storage unit of my mind, through all the memories, thoughts, and feelings I’d boxed up and hidden away. As I opened those boxes I broke my silence in my mind, my heart, and my soul. And most of all, I began to believe in my strength, strength that was always there inside me all along.

This is the story of how I broke my silence.

Breaking Radio Silence

This book started out as ‘Untitled Self-Help/Memoire’ in the Fall of 2016 on the simple premise of using writing to answer my question: “Why do I think and feel the way I do?” I didn’t know when I started this journey where it would take me. It took me to the deepest, darkest, and most painful depths of my mind, through memories I never forgot, thoughts I’ve never spoken aloud, and feelings I’ve fought like hell not to show anyone. I’d placed layers of silence over all my true thoughts and feelings and when I broke my silence, I lifted huge weights of shame and guilt off my shoulders that should never have been there at all.

This book is about how those journeys in my mind led me to what I call ‘realizations’, single lines of thought that lifted huge weights off my heart and soul and broke the silence of pain in my mind. Over the last four years, I’ve gone through my memories, including the most painful ones I’d boxed up and put into the storage of my mind. It was not an easy journey but I’m sharing my story to help others who I know have thought and felt like I have.

Because most of all, I want anyone reading this book to find something that will help ease their pain, to help them understand why they think and feel the way they do. And most of all, know that I believe every person has every right to their thoughts and feelings no matter what they are. I believe everyone has the right to find a way to deal with those thoughts and feelings in whatever way works, and by breaking your silence, even if it’s just inside your own mind.

Part One

Moments of Clarity:

The first realizations that came to me with stunning clarity and have stayed with me ever since. This is where it all began.

Part Two

I Was Where I Needed to Be:

The realization that left me exhausted but began to lift the weight of shame and guilt that I shouldn’t have ever felt so much.

Part Three

How to Reject Shame and Guilt:

A guide on how to reject shame and guilt while letting Fear still come along for the ride.

The Origin Story of ‘Breaking Radio Silence’ – from ‘Untitled Self-Help/Memoire Hybrid’ to ‘therapy book’ to now:

“Everyone else is just as full of shit as I am, but I’m not a bad person either.”

Me, on April 30, 2015

Upcoming Publication Information (no confirmed date)