The New Year traditionally brings out people who make resolutions, such as being healthier, wealthier, though not wiser. None of them really talk about being a better person or being less of an asshole. But so far in this year of 2021, I’m not seeing those resolutions at all. And that’s because 2020 proved that most people couldn’t stay home when needed, or not go out and not be assholes.
The endless days and nights of activities, work, school, sports, drinking, and socializing were total bullshit in my opinion. But then I’m a lazy good-for-nothing anti-social slob so that was never my scene to begin with. Yet why do people think they have to try and maintain it, or scream and yell to get it back? My answer: I think there are a good number of idiots in this damn world who honestly think if they decide not to go along with the loud-mouth asshole crowd they’ll meet some god-awful fate.
To them I say this: the world doesn’t revolve around those assholes so therefore it doesn’t revolve around you.
Those of us who have always been outsider-losers have known this for a very long time. I’ve known it since my age was still in the single-digits. Though I will admit I’ve had a few times where I’ve gotten into sad-and-sorry-for-myself over my lack of social life-history. But since most people treat me like I’m invisible or something they scraped off the bottom of their shoe, I think I was screwed from day-one on that.
And maybe people are realizing they can’t change the asshole-mentality of some people so they’ve stopped trying. They’ve stopped trying to keep up with their butt-hole neighbors and not cut their grass every five minutes, or go out every weekend, or drink till they pass out. They’ve decided if they don’t like kale then they won’t choke it down. And if they don’t want to do CrossFit and grunt like a sweaty hog then they won’t.
I think peer pressure drives so much bullshit in this life, including New Year’s Resolutions. But last year people saw all their good intentions go to Hell due to a severely-mishandled pandemic. They lost jobs, and lost friends and loved ones. Some had, and still are, dealing with relentless death and suffering in the hospitals. Others are on edge all the damn time trying to hold on until the adults take over in Washington DC again.
I was never into New Year’s Resolutions to begin with because my body has been fucked up since I can remember so exercise is mostly out of the question. I’ve wanted to do better personally and professionally, along with creatively but always slid back when I thought about what other people might think. I pulled back rather than deal with condescending bullshit if I did manage to pull myself out of my shell and do something I really wanted to do. Now I realize no one really gives a fucking shit whether or not I pull myself out of my shell because if they had before, they sure as hell didn’t tell that to my face.
If you want a resolution to live by this year here it is: don’t live your life fearing what some asshole might say to you. I can tell you with many years of experience they won’t come up to your face and shit all over you. And if they talk shit behind your back, ignore it. And if someone believes their shit over your truth, walk away from that someone and call them an asshole as you do it.
When I was much younger, I would get to be friends with someone and then that someone’s friends wouldn’t like that and they would talk shit about me to my friend. Sadly, those friends didn’t believe my truth and they cut me loose. I never really knew what it was about me that made that happen as I was never given the opportunity to find out. This is why I have such huge issues with trusting people.
But because I believe in finding something to work on is this: working through my issues in my writing and maybe learning how to trust people if there is someone out there who does want to get closer to me. I’ve spent a lot of years since the leg-warmer decade (the 1980’s to the youngsters reading this) pushing people away or just staying away on my own. It’s something I regret a lot and am trying to work through now.
If you made it through 2020 with your sanity intact and still breathing, you’re doing fine. And if that’s your only real goal or resolution for 2021, that’s great, too. But there’s more to life than just surviving as my father once said to me.
There’s living to be done. And that’s the ultimate resolution: to live.