“Everything you thought was a sure thing wasn’t.”
I typed that quote above into my phone on April 29, 2020 after I’d dropped off my passenger on an early-morning Uber run. The thought came to me as I drove by a closed strip club on the way to the drop-off location. Yet I have struggled to articulate what this lack of a ‘sure thing’ is since then.
For starters, the covid-19 pandemic has proven there is NO such thing as a sure thing anymore except the absolute basic essentials needed to survive in life, such as massive amounts of toilet paper. It’s also shown that service sectors and other types of industries that weathered recessions and other economic downturns couldn’t survive this one. Because of this, many people say there will never be a return to ‘normal’, or life as it was before the pandemic.
Well, no shit, Sherlock. You can’t go back and live in the past despite what some assholes might say or try to get you to believe. Yes, most of us do live in the present hustle-and-shuffle and wake more often than not going ‘what the hell-shit is going to happen today?’ That type of constant low-level anxiety and doom-and-gloom is a normal that most of us honestly don’t think we’ll ever really let go of, even if we do find some way to give ourselves a financial cushion. Because we’ve lived for so long on the edge that if we do get that cushion, we won’t allow our asses to sink into it.
What I’ve lived with for so long is a low-level, near-constant hum of anxiety. It’s a hum accompanied by a visual of a sword hanging over my head that really isn’t there because anxiety for the most part, is a huge lying sack-of-shit bitch. But since she’s been with me for so long, she’s got a permanent indent on the sofa cushion in my mind. She’s comfortable with parking her ugly ass in my mind and running her mouth because she knows I can’t completely evict her ass (she’s really good at loopholes).
So what do you do about a lying sack-of-shit who won’t ever completely leave you?
Call out their lies and bullshit.
This is something we need to do more than ever and I believe it starts within your own mind. For example, I woke up this morning having anxiety over doing things I need to do today. Why? Because my anxiety came off the sofa around midnight and woke my ass up (I think I had a bad dream but can’t remember what I dreamed if I did). So I got up and made coffee, fed my doggy, and sat down to write this because writing is good therapy. I got the gist of this as I got out of bed this morning: life is a constant series of adjustments not just to shit happening but because that’s how it goes. Nothing stays the same forever despite the fact people want to make it stay the same, or take it back to where it was at some point in the past, or just be total fucking assholes and not get called out on that roundabout-bullshit.
It doesn’t have to be that way, I tell myself as I will tell anyone reading this. So there’s no such thing as a sure thing. There never was a sure thing. That was a good movie title (and funny movie though I haven’t seen it in ages). But life plows on pandemics and shit-bags and all.
But there is no sword of anxiety hanging over your head despite what you may think. There will always be shit-balls thrown at you but shit washes off eventually. Make time to do what you need to do, do what you want to do, laugh, smile, joke, and talk shit about people and things that deserve it, especially your own dumb-ass anxiety.
Even though there is no such thing as a sure thing (damn, that would make a good song lyric or rap line), that’s okay. For the late Bob Marley was right: “Don’t worry about a thing/Because every little thing is gonna be alright” (‘Three Little Birds’ written by Bob Marley from the 1977 album ‘Exodus’)
It’s going to be alright because despite the lack of a sure thing, or any kind of so-called normal, life will go on. So live it as best as you can. And maybe try to sing along with Bob instead of your dumb-ass anxiety.